I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
