shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
