Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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