Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think people are normalizing furries
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
