I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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