You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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