More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
