She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
