You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
