i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
