I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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