It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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