i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The air was thick with penises
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
