Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
