Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
