She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
