ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
