i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize