So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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