Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
