I saw his package. It spoke to me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
