it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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