i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
