He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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