im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
