I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
