She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
