2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
