Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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