If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
