I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
