Already got asked if we're dating
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Still dying that you shit outside
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
