can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
