This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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