She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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