i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
