its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
