called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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