so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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