Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
