About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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