Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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