so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
