make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
