even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
