i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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