I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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