Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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