I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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