So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
