Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
