i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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