Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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