wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
