Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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