It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
