Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
