she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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