I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
