I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
