kristin has been a bad kristin
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize