If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
