so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She told me I should be a condom model.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
