we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
