i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
