I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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