Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
