R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
