i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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